"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
-Mitch Hedberg
FoodView Quote
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.“
-Mitch Hedberg
posted in Dating
Other Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."
-Mitch Hedberg
DreamsView Quote
"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"
-Mitch Hedberg
CoolView Quote
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
-Mitch Hedberg
BusinessView Quote
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
-Mitch Hedberg
WorkView Quote
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
-Mitch Hedberg
WomenView Quote
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"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
-Jim Bishop
DatingView Quote
"Work takes up a lot of my brain space. So when I work, it's one thing. I don't have a lot of time to think about dating."
-Chris Pine
DatingView Quote
"I'm friends with a lot of my exes, but it took time. We didn't just get into it. I don't think you can be friends until you're cool with them dating someone else. That's when you know."
-Rashida Jones
DatingView Quote
"In my own relationships, I know that I should break up with someone who doesn't encourage me to be strong and make my own choices and do what's best in my life, so if you're dating someone who doesn't want you to be the best person you can be, you shouldn't be dating them."
-Veronica Roth
DatingView Quote
"I'm a bad dater - I'm just not good at it. It's so weird dating in this town. It's like high school. I get a lot of people who have their publicist call my agent to ask, 'Is she dating anyone?'"
-Jules Asner
DatingView Quote
"I got that experience through dating dozens of men for six years after college, getting an entry level magazine job at 21, working in the fiction department at Good Housekeeping and then working as a fashion editor there as well as writing many articles for the magazine."
-Judith Krantz
DatingView Quote