"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
-Robert Orben
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"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.“
-Robert Orben
posted in Funny
Other Quotes by Robert Orben
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"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
-Robert Orben
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"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
-Robert Orben
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"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
-Robert Orben
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"Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years."
-Robert Orben
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"I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff."
-Robert Orben
HumorView Quote
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"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
-Steve Martin
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"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein
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"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
-Logan P. Smith
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"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
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"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."
-Reba McEntire
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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
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