"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.“
-Paula Poundstone
posted in Funny
Other Quotes by Paula Poundstone
Discover more inspiring quotes by Paula Poundstone
"I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe."
-Paula Poundstone
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"I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California."
-Paula Poundstone
ThankfulView Quote
"I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going."
-Paula Poundstone
ThankfulView Quote
"I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings."
-Paula Poundstone
ThankfulView Quote
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"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein
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"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
-Logan P. Smith
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"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
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"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."
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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
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