"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe
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"Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.“
-James Lipton
posted in Funny
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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost
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"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
-George Sand
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"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
-Mark Twain
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"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
-Maya Angelou
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"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde
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"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
-Steve Martin
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"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein
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"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
-Logan P. Smith
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"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
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"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."
-Reba McEntire
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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
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