"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates
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"Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued."
-Socrates
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"Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for."
-Socrates
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"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy if not, you'll become a philosopher."
-Socrates
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"True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing."
-Socrates
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"The unexamined life is not worth living."
-Socrates
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
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