"Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life."
-Joel Osteen
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"I don't know what can be so dangerous about giving people hope."
-Joel Osteen
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"People in tough times - it doesn't mean they don't have a great attitude."
-Joel Osteen
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"Keep a good attitude and do the right thing even when it's hard. When you do that you are passing the test. And God promises you your marked moments are on their way."
-Joel Osteen
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"Do all you can to make your dreams come true."
-Joel Osteen
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"I like sports, and I enjoy playing basketball and lifting weights."
-Joel Osteen
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
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