"In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.“
-Ambrose Bierce
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Other Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
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"Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
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