"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
-Garrison Keillor
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"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.“
-Garrison Keillor
posted in God
Other Quotes by Garrison Keillor
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"Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted."
-Garrison Keillor
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"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together."
-Garrison Keillor
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"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
-Garrison Keillor
SadView Quote
"Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then."
-Garrison Keillor
ThankfulView Quote
"Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough."
-Garrison Keillor
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
GodView Quote