"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
-Bill Maher
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"Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?“
-Bill Maher
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Other Quotes by Bill Maher
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"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'"
-Bill Maher
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"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
-Bill Maher
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"Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable."
-Bill Maher
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"Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need."
-Bill Maher
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"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."
-Bill Maher
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
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