"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.“
-Chuck Palahniuk
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Other Quotes by Chuck Palahniuk
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"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?"
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"Reality means you live until you die. The real truth is nobody wants reality."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it."
-Chuck Palahniuk
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty."
-John Lennon
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"To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
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"I'm an atheist and I thank God for it."
-George Bernard Shaw
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