"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."
-Bob Newhart
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"I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.“
-Bob Newhart
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"I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage."
-Bob Newhart
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"I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much."
-Bob Newhart
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"I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable."
-Bob Newhart
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"I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line."
-Bob Newhart
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"Funny is funny is funny."
-Bob Newhart
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"If you're picking your best friend based on what kind of clothes she wears or how popular she is, chances are you aren't going to stay in touch after graduation."
-Renee Olstead
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"All my graduation money went to paying for bartending classes so I could have a side gig. I bartended for two months before I was supposed to move to New York and then two months later I got the job as an understudy in 'Sister Act' and haven't looked back since."
-Patina Miller
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"A month before graduation I got an off-Broadway job. Then I did some commercials, including one for MCI. You can only see half of me, but it paid well. Thank God for commercials."
-Lee Pace
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"I woke up on May 15, 1991, the day of my Barnard graduation, and I said to myself, 'By the end of today you will decide what you want to do with the rest of your life.'"
-Alexandra Guarnaschelli
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"At the end of four years' time, at graduation, we were down to 12. At our reunion that we had several years ago, only 1 out of the 52 actually made it to ordination and priesthood. So there you go, there's your numbers."
-Peter Jurasik
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"One of the most difficult speeches to prepare is an address to a graduation class, which is why I don't often do them."
-Jerry Moran
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