"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
-Calvin Trillin
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"With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy."
-Calvin Trillin
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"There's always a source for humor."
-Calvin Trillin
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"I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."
-Calvin Trillin
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"Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food."
-Calvin Trillin
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"When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere."
-Calvin Trillin
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"I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I'd invented it, because it is very true."
-Audrey Hepburn
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"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
-Ingrid Bergman
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"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
-Gustave Flaubert
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"It is great good health to believe, as the Hindus do, that there are 33 million gods and goddesses in the world. It is great good health to want to understand one's dreams. It is great good health to desire the ambiguous and paradoxical."
-Clive Barker
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"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."
-Albert Schweitzer
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"Everyone should have health insurance? I say everyone should have health care. I'm not selling insurance."
-Dennis Kucinich
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