"Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true."
-Aziz Ansari
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"Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.“
-Aziz Ansari
posted in Humor
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"When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing."
-Aziz Ansari
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"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe
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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost
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"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
-George Sand
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"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
-Mark Twain
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"A joke is a very serious thing."
-Winston Churchill
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"Humor is reason gone mad."
-Groucho Marx
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"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
-Erma Bombeck
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"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
-Mark Twain
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"The secret to humor is surprise."
-Aristotle
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"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."
-Langston Hughes
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