"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.“

-Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler quote on Mom: "The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus..." - Aesthetic Wallpaper & Wisdom

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"I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'"

-Elayne Boosler

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"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."

-Elayne Boosler

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"Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?"

-Elayne Boosler

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"I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food."

-Elayne Boosler

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"I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots."

-Elayne Boosler

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"I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent."

-Elayne Boosler

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"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."

-Ellen DeGeneres

"Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own."

-Nelson Algren

"Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children."

-Billy Graham

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

-Mark Twain

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child."

-Sophia Loren

"I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars."

-E. M. Forster