"Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep."
-Dave Barry
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"It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.“
-Dave Barry
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"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
-Dave Barry
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"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."
-Dave Barry
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"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War."
-Dave Barry
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"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."
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"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
-Dave Barry
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Same Category
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"People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'"
-Adam Carolla
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"The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money is poorer still."
-Billy Sunday
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"Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The X Factor.' Luck is great, but most of life is hard work. We do not celebrate people who have made success out of serious hard work."
-Iain Duncan Smith
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"Because I don't take money, I'll go anywhere and do a benefit concert with almost any orchestra."
-David Ogden Stiers
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"Nothing except the mint can make money without advertising."
-Thomas B. Macaulay
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"Thankfully, due to the United Kingdom and the commitment of the Westminster government we are able to ensure that money brought in, whether it be from the City of London or from North Sea oil, can be pooled and directed to wherever it is needed most. That is what being in the United Kingdom is all about."
-Iain Duncan Smith
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