"Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it."
-Carl Hiaasen
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"Here's my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the credit card and then they look at the name on the book jacket, then there's this look of such profound sympathy for you that you had to resort to this. It really is withering.“
-Carl Hiaasen
posted in Sympathy
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"My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding."
-Carl Hiaasen
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"One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb."
-Carl Hiaasen
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"Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject."
-Carl Hiaasen
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"I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness."
-Carl Hiaasen
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"I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something."
-Carl Hiaasen
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"It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness."
-Marcus Tullius Cicero
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"There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery."
-Dante Alighieri
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"Almost all of our sorrows spring out of our relations with other people."
-Arthur Schopenhauer
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"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce."
-P. J. O'Rourke
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"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength."
-Corrie Ten Boom
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"There is no grief like the grief that does not speak."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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