"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
-George Carlin
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"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.“
-George Carlin
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Other Quotes by George Carlin
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"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin
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"Electricity is really just organized lightning."
-George Carlin
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
-George Carlin
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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
-George Carlin
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"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"
-George Carlin
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"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
-Groucho Marx
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"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
-Bertrand Russell
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"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
-Mark Twain
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"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
-Maya Angelou
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"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love."
-Tom Robbins
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"Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
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