"Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.“

-Demetri Martin

posted in time

Demetri Martin quote about time: "Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same..."

Other Quotes

Discover more inspiring quotes from our collection

"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."

-Demetri Martin

christmasView Quote

"I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!"

-Demetri Martin

womenView Quote

"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."

-Demetri Martin

womenView Quote

"I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!"

-Demetri Martin

trustView Quote

"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."

-Demetri Martin

trustView Quote

"If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half."

-Demetri Martin

Same Category

More quotes in this category

"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time."

-James A. Baldwin

"No country can act wisely simultaneously in every part of the globe at every moment of time."

-Henry A. Kissinger

"It's time to get real, folks. Hope and change ain't working. Hope and change is not a solution. Hope and change is not a job."

-Herman Cain

"It's plain hokum. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em. It's an old political trick. But this time it won't work."

-Harry S. Truman

"Nixon is one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides."

-Harry S. Truman

"A lot of people would be embarrassed to admit that they were on 'Barney', but I embrace the fact. I just had such a wonderful time doing that show. I learned what a camera and prop is, and all that. I learned my manners too, so I guess that's a good thing!"

-Selena Gomez