"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.“

-Mitch Hedberg

posted in Work

Mitch Hedberg quote on Work: "If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work." - Aesthetic Wallpaper & Wisdom

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"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."

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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

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"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"

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"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

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"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

-Thomas A. Edison

"There is no time for cut-and-dried monotony. There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time!"

-Coco Chanel

"In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you."

-Leo Tolstoy

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."

-Woody Allen

"A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened."

-Albert Camus

"In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present."

-Lao Tzu