"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
-George Carlin
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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.“
-George Carlin
posted in Christmas
Other Quotes by George Carlin
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"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin
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"Electricity is really just organized lightning."
-George Carlin
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
-George Carlin
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"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"
-George Carlin
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"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."
-George Carlin
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Same Category
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"Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind."
-Mary Ellen Chase
ChristmasView Quote
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
-Jay Leno
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"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
-Shirley Temple
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"The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value."
-Charles Dudley Warner
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"I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies."
-Mo Rocca
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"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
-Kin Hubbard
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