"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
-Phyllis Diller
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"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.“
-Phyllis Diller
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Other Quotes by Phyllis Diller
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"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
-Phyllis Diller
SmileView Quote
"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."
-Phyllis Diller
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"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
-Phyllis Diller
BusinessView Quote
"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
-Phyllis Diller
AgeView Quote
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"Be thankful for what you have you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
-Oprah Winfrey
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"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
-Jon Stewart
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"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."
-Erma Bombeck
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"From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free, We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may be That no life lives for ever That dead men rise up never That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea."
-Algernon Charles Swinburne
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"My fondest memories are generally the day after Thanksgiving. I get the total decorating Christmas itch."
-Katharine McPhee
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"Christmas is the antithesis of Thanksgiving. Christmas is pretty much a man-made holiday."
-John Clayton
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