"I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer."
-David Sedaris
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"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.“
-David Sedaris
posted in Art
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"When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard."
-David Sedaris
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"The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons."
-David Sedaris
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"I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone."
-David Sedaris
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"My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining."
-David Sedaris
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"It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'"
-David Sedaris
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"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."
-C. S. Lewis
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"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
-Woody Allen
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"I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art."
-Ernst Fischer
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"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
-Groucho Marx
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"I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot."
-Steve Martin
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"An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have."
-Andy Warhol
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