"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
-Mitch Hedberg
FoodView Quote
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.“
-Mitch Hedberg
posted in Business
Other Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Discover more inspiring quotes by Mitch Hedberg
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."
-Mitch Hedberg
DreamsView Quote
"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"
-Mitch Hedberg
CoolView Quote
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
-Mitch Hedberg
WorkView Quote
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
-Mitch Hedberg
WomenView Quote
"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
-Mitch Hedberg
MorningView Quote
Same Category
More quotes in this category
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
-Mark Twain
BusinessView Quote
"No, I regret nothing, all I regret is having been born, dying is such a long tiresome business I always found."
-Samuel Beckett
BusinessView Quote
"I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't."
-Steve Martin
BusinessView Quote
"All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it."
-Samuel Butler
BusinessView Quote
"I must create a system or be enslaved by another mans I will not reason and compare: my business is to create."
-William Blake
BusinessView Quote
"When from our better selves we have too long been parted by the hurrying world, and droop. Sick of its business, of its pleasures tired, how gracious, how benign is solitude."
-William Wordsworth
BusinessView Quote