"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.“

-Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg quote on Car: "I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly whic..." - Aesthetic Wallpaper & Wisdom

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"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."

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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

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"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"

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"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

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"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it."

-Ellen Goodman

"If you are a writer you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space."

-Joyce Carol Oates

"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance."

-Brian Tracy

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."

-Erma Bombeck

"Every song has a composer, every book has an author, every car has a maker, every painting has a painter, and every building has a builder. So it isn't irrational to take this simple logic a little further and say that nature must have had a Maker. It would be irrational to believe that it made itself."

-Ray Comfort

"Drug misuse is not a disease, it is a decision, like the decision to step out in front of a moving car. You would call that not a disease but an error of judgment."

-Philip K. Dick