"I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'“

-Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler quote on Car: "I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your hou..." - Aesthetic Wallpaper & Wisdom

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"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."

-Elayne Boosler

"I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'"

-Elayne Boosler

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"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."

-Elayne Boosler

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"Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?"

-Elayne Boosler

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"I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food."

-Elayne Boosler

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"I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots."

-Elayne Boosler

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"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it."

-Ellen Goodman

"If you are a writer you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space."

-Joyce Carol Oates

"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance."

-Brian Tracy

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."

-Erma Bombeck

"Every song has a composer, every book has an author, every car has a maker, every painting has a painter, and every building has a builder. So it isn't irrational to take this simple logic a little further and say that nature must have had a Maker. It would be irrational to believe that it made itself."

-Ray Comfort

"Drug misuse is not a disease, it is a decision, like the decision to step out in front of a moving car. You would call that not a disease but an error of judgment."

-Philip K. Dick