"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
-Mitch Hedberg
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Other Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Don't get me wrong, magic is cool. But a nervous mother singing to her child at night while something moves quietly through the dark outside her house? That's a story. Handled properly, it's more dramatic than any apocalypse or goblin army could ever be."
-Patrick Rothfuss
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"Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes."
-Walt Whitman
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"Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be."
-Nora Ephron
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"Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do."
-Vanessa Hudgens
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"Keep cool anger is not an argument."
-Daniel Webster
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"Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances."
-Thomas Jefferson
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