Quotes by H. L. Mencken - AI Generated Quotes

H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

-H. L. Mencken

age

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

-H. L. Mencken

age

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

-H. L. Mencken

anniversary

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

-H. L. Mencken

art

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

-H. L. Mencken

best

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

-H. L. Mencken

experience

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

-H. L. Mencken

experience

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

-H. L. Mencken

failure

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.

-H. L. Mencken

faith

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

-H. L. Mencken

faith

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.

-H. L. Mencken

fear

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

-H. L. Mencken

fear

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.

-H. L. Mencken

freedom

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

-H. L. Mencken

funny

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

-H. L. Mencken

funny

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

-H. L. Mencken

funny

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

-H. L. Mencken

god

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

-H. L. Mencken

god

The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.

-H. L. Mencken

god

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

-H. L. Mencken

good

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

-H. L. Mencken

good

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

-H. L. Mencken

good

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

-H. L. Mencken

good

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

-H. L. Mencken

good

Husbands never become good they merely become proficient.

-H. L. Mencken

good

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

-H. L. Mencken

good

There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.

-H. L. Mencken

good

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

-H. L. Mencken

government

The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.

-H. L. Mencken

government

The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.

-H. L. Mencken

government

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

-H. L. Mencken

government

All government, of course, is against liberty.

-H. L. Mencken

government

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

-H. L. Mencken

government

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.

-H. L. Mencken

great

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

Husbands never become good they merely become proficient.

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.

The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

All government, of course, is against liberty.

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

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