Roseanne Barr

• "Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?“
• "As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.“
• "I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.“
• "My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.“
• "Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.“
• "A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.“
• "I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.“
• "I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.“
• "The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.“
• "My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.“
• "The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.“
• "Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.“
• "As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.“

Other authors you might be
interested in

Jeff Gordon

Mark Hoppus

Edie Brickell

Chris Isaak

Victoria Wood

Reese Witherspoon

Oskar Schindler

Cory Monteith

Alan Jackson




Browse all authors