"I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home."
-W. C. Fields
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"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.“
-W. C. Fields
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"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
-W. C. Fields
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"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
-W. C. Fields
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"No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree."
-W. C. Fields
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"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
-W. C. Fields
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"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
-W. C. Fields
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Same Category
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"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time."
-James A. Baldwin
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"No country can act wisely simultaneously in every part of the globe at every moment of time."
-Henry A. Kissinger
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"It's time to get real, folks. Hope and change ain't working. Hope and change is not a solution. Hope and change is not a job."
-Herman Cain
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"It's plain hokum. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em. It's an old political trick. But this time it won't work."
-Harry S. Truman
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"Nixon is one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides."
-Harry S. Truman
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"A lot of people would be embarrassed to admit that they were on 'Barney', but I embrace the fact. I just had such a wonderful time doing that show. I learned what a camera and prop is, and all that. I learned my manners too, so I guess that's a good thing!"
-Selena Gomez
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