"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
-Art Buchwald
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"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.“
-Art Buchwald
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"This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security."
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"How sweet it is!"
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"We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack."
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"I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic."
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