Ben Elton

"I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition - and I have never suffered from it."

"If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not then marriages would be truly made in heaven."

"Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them."

"I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous."