"Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep."
-Dave Barry
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"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.“
-Dave Barry
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Other Quotes by Dave Barry
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"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
-Dave Barry
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"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."
-Dave Barry
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"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War."
-Dave Barry
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"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."
-Dave Barry
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"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
-Dave Barry
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Same Category
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"I had never felt so lonely and so sad in my entire life."
-Susan Smith
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"Our hope, and it's a sad hope, is that... well, I mean we need a tip. That's why we have such a big reward. We just hope that someone is holding her for her child and that we can, you know, get her back with a tip."
-Scott Peterson
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"It's really sad that the kids today can only relate to Beethoven via a rock version of his music."
-Walter Murphy
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"Sad and sweet and wise Here a child reposes Dust is on his eyes, Quietly he lies - Satan, strew Roses."
-Robert Williams Buchanan
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"Keep it simple, keep it sexy, keep it sad."
-Mitch Miller
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"It is a sad day for our country when the moral foundation of our law and the acknowledgment of God has to be hidden from public view to appease a federal judge."
-Soledad O'Brien
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