"A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children."
-David Brenner
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"When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.“
-David Brenner
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"How sweet it is!"
-Jackie Gleason
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"We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack."
-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
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"It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week."
-Laurence J. Peter
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"I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic."
-Will Estes
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"Some women flirt more with what they say, and some with what they do."
-Anna Held
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"The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
-Joey Lauren Adams
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"But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
-Wanda Sykes
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"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
-Artie Lange
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"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
-Wanda Sykes
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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
-Shirin Ebadi
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"So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life."
-Piper Perabo
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