"Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them."
-Dick Van Dyke
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"Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.“
-Dick Van Dyke
posted in Humor
Other Quotes by Dick Van Dyke
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"How sweet it is!"
-Jackie Gleason
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"We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack."
-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
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"It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week."
-Laurence J. Peter
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"I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic."
-Will Estes
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"Some women flirt more with what they say, and some with what they do."
-Anna Held
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"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."
-Tom Walsh
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"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."
-Stephen Sommers
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"This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humor section."
-John Callahan
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"Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny."
-Will Eisner
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"We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor."
-Bobby Clarke
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"You may not like the humor, but that is why every radio has an on-off button."
-Mel Karmazin
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