"I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age."
-George Burns
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"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.“
-George Burns
posted in Funny
Other Quotes by George Burns
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"Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up."
-George Burns
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"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."
-George Burns
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"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."
-George Burns
SuccessView Quote
"I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money."
-George Burns
MoneyView Quote
"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."
-George Burns
MoneyView Quote
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"The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
-Joey Lauren Adams
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"But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
-Wanda Sykes
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"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
-Artie Lange
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"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
-Wanda Sykes
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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
-Shirin Ebadi
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"So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life."
-Piper Perabo
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