"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
-George Carlin
ChristmasView Quote
"You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.“
-George Carlin
posted in Good
Other Quotes by George Carlin
Discover more inspiring quotes by George Carlin
"When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent."
-George Carlin
WorkView Quote
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
-George Carlin
WorkView Quote
"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
-George Carlin
WorkView Quote
"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
-George Carlin
WorkView Quote
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
-George Carlin
TruthView Quote
Same Category
More quotes in this category
"There's no regret. You can't regret. I mean, I've felt regret but I've also refused to allow regret to sow a seed and live in me because I don't believe it. You feel it, it's like guilt, it's like jealousy, it's like all those horrible things. You've just got to snip them and get them out, because they're no good."
-Jude Law
GoodView Quote
"God is everywhere but He is most manifest in man. So serve man as God. That is as good as worshipping God."
-Ramakrishna
GoodView Quote
"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."
-Lenny Kravitz
GoodView Quote
"Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good."
-Ovid
GoodView Quote
"Let's not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can't have high standards without good discipline."
-William Hague
GoodView Quote
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
-Phyllis Diller
GoodView Quote