"Men want to make women happy."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"That's the true spirit of Christmas people being helped by people other than me.“
-Jerry Seinfeld
posted in Christmas
Other Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
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"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'"
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Windows are as essential to office prestige as Christmas is to retailing."
-Enid Nemy
ChristmasView Quote
"Then, when I got in the military, I used to host - even in high school - I hosted the talent shows, and when I was in the military I would host all of our base Christmas parties and stuff."
-Gary Owens
ChristmasView Quote
"At school, there was an annual school disco and I'd be standing in my bedroom wondering what to wear for hours on end. Eventually I'd arrive at a decision that was just the most ridiculous costume you could have ever devised - I think it was probably knitted Christmas jumpers on top of buttoned-up white shirts."
-Guy Berryman
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"No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas."
-Alfred E. Smith
ChristmasView Quote
"In our racist, sexist society, Christmas is the 8 hours when we stop killing each other and gratutious over eating is encouraged so that the starving and other people in the world can die!"
-Lloyd Kaufman
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"I wouldn't recommend young kids see 'Speedway Junkie.' It's definitely an age-appropriate movie - dark and realistic and edgy. If young kids want to see me, go see the Christmas movie."
-Jonathan Taylor Thomas
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