"People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.“

-Jo Brand

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"There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics it's something to do with the social structure of society."

-Jo Brand

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"So, my style has hopefully changed over the years and it is more relaxed, and I do tend to smile and have more than one expression these days hopefully - which I didn't at the beginning."

-Jo Brand

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"I thought I was funny as a kid."

-Jo Brand

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"I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully."

-Jo Brand

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"The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing."

-Jo Brand

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"Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female."

-Jo Brand

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"I had never felt so lonely and so sad in my entire life."

-Susan Smith

"Our hope, and it's a sad hope, is that... well, I mean we need a tip. That's why we have such a big reward. We just hope that someone is holding her for her child and that we can, you know, get her back with a tip."

-Scott Peterson

"It's really sad that the kids today can only relate to Beethoven via a rock version of his music."

-Walter Murphy

"Sad and sweet and wise Here a child reposes Dust is on his eyes, Quietly he lies - Satan, strew Roses."

-Robert Williams Buchanan

"Keep it simple, keep it sexy, keep it sad."

-Mitch Miller

"It is a sad day for our country when the moral foundation of our law and the acknowledgment of God has to be hidden from public view to appease a federal judge."

-Soledad O'Brien