"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.“
-Joan Rivers
posted in Thankful
Other Quotes by Joan Rivers
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"What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care."
-Joan Rivers
WorkView Quote
"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."
-Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
WarView Quote
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
-Joan Rivers
TimeView Quote
"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."
-Joan Rivers
RespectView Quote
Same Category
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"All of us, who are members of the Germanic peoples, can be happy and thankful that once in thousands of years fate has given us, from among the Germanic peoples, such a genius, a leader, our Fuehrer Adolf Hitler, and you should be happy to be allowed to work with us."
-Heinrich Himmler
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"The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank."
-Dante Gabriel Rossetti
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"This little kid pointed at me and said, 'You look disgusting!' That was the first time I thought maybe I did. I decided I'd better start eating. I'm just thankful that I made it through with relatively few scars."
-Susan Dey
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"I've done it all. I'm thankful and proud of what I've accomplished in my life. I hope to keep doing it."
-Ralph Stanley
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"I went from not knowing anything to becoming really curious and wanting to know and respecting people in the industry, realizing how hard they work. I will always be thankful for 'Top Model' for that."
-Fatima Siad
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"We have to be thankful considering our number as a family we enjoy very good health generally but you may be sure me and my partner have quite enough to exercise our minds and occupy our attention."
-John Hawley
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