Mike Royko

"It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies."

"There is only one way to solve the alleged crisis of the erosion of 'family values.' And that is to get right down to the root cause of the problem."

"The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons."

"When Michael Jordan quit, I suddenly found myself without a sports hero."