Stephen Fry

"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me."

"I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself."

"I've never had any illusions about being a lead actor in films, because lead actors have to be of a certain kind. Apart from the beauty of looks and figure, which I cannot claim to have, there's just a particular kind of ordinary-Joe quality that a film star needs to have."

"Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business - which at least does us all some good."

"Taste every fruit of every tree in the garden at least once. It is an insult to creation not to experience it fully. Temperance is wickedness."

"I am a lover of truth, a worshipper of freedom, a celebrant at the altar of language and purity and tolerance."