"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'“

-Steven Wright

posted in Good

Steven Wright quote about Good: "When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few m..."

Other Quotes by Steven Wright

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"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."

-Steven Wright

"I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time."

-Steven Wright

"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."

-Steven Wright

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."

-Steven Wright

"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."

-Steven Wright

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."

-Steven Wright

Same Category

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"There's no regret. You can't regret. I mean, I've felt regret but I've also refused to allow regret to sow a seed and live in me because I don't believe it. You feel it, it's like guilt, it's like jealousy, it's like all those horrible things. You've just got to snip them and get them out, because they're no good."

-Jude Law

"God is everywhere but He is most manifest in man. So serve man as God. That is as good as worshipping God."

-Ramakrishna

"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."

-Lenny Kravitz

"Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good."

-Ovid

"Let's not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can't have high standards without good discipline."

-William Hague

"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."

-Phyllis Diller