"Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon."
-Tim Allen
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"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.“
-Tim Allen
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"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."
-Tim Allen
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"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."
-Tim Allen
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"In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship."
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"I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
-Tim Allen
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"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
-Tim Allen
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