"I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home."
-W. C. Fields
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"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.“
-W. C. Fields
posted in Food
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"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
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"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
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"No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree."
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"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
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"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
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