"I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home."
-W. C. Fields
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"No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.“
-W. C. Fields
posted in Women
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"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
-W. C. Fields
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"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
-W. C. Fields
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"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
-W. C. Fields
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"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
-W. C. Fields
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"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation."
-W. C. Fields
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"From sixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humor by their hopes and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured."
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"I love women more than anything."
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"When they take surveys of women in business, of the Fortune 500, the successful women, 80% of them, say they were in sports as a young woman."
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"The Cause of Women is generally the Cause of Virtue."
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"Women are always most observed when they seem themselves least to observe, or to lay out for observation."
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