"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
-Henny Youngman
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"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?“
-Henny Youngman
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Other Quotes by Henny Youngman
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"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
-Henny Youngman
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"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
-Henny Youngman
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"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
-Henny Youngman
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"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"
-Henny Youngman
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"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."
-Henny Youngman
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"The child is father of the man."
-William Wordsworth
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"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."
-Fred Allen
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"My parents loved each other. I was raised in a house of total love and respect. My dad worked very hard and my mother was incredibly devoted to him. I can unequivocally, without any peradventure of doubt, tell you that I was raised with the kind of love that we only dream of."
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"I'm a good dad I spend a lot of time with my kids."
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"Our dad was a great guy and we will never forget him."
-Lara St. John
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