"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
-Joan Rivers
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Other Quotes by Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
-Joan Rivers
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"Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too."
-Joan Rivers
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Same Category
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"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
-J. R. R. Tolkien
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"Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends."
-George Bernard Shaw
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"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
-Calvin Trillin
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"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling."
-Dave Barry
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"What is food to one man is bitter poison to others."
-Lucretius
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"Be what you would seem to be - or, if you'd like it put more simply - a house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body."
-Margaret Fuller
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