"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
-Groucho Marx
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Other Quotes by Groucho Marx
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"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
-Groucho Marx
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"Humor is reason gone mad."
-Groucho Marx
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"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
-Groucho Marx
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"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
-Groucho Marx
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"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
-Groucho Marx
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"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
-Steve Martin
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"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein
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"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
-Logan P. Smith
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"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
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"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."
-Reba McEntire
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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
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