"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."
-Woody Allen
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"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
-Woody Allen
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
-Woody Allen
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"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
-Woody Allen
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"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
-Woody Allen
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"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
-Steve Martin
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"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein
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"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
-Logan P. Smith
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"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."
-Reba McEntire
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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
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"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
-Steve Martin
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