"When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won."
-Paul Merton
MorningView Quote
"When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.“
-Paul Merton
posted in Funny
Other Quotes by Paul Merton
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"I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it."
-Paul Merton
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"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe
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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost
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"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
-George Sand
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"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
-Mark Twain
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"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein
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"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
-Logan P. Smith
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"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
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"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."
-Reba McEntire
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"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
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